A Letter to the Woman I Used to Be… and the One I’m Becoming

Dear Me,

I see you.

The girl who was lost in the eyes of men, trying to find herself in the reflection of their attention. You craved to be seen, not because you were shallow, but because you were empty — and you didn’t know how to fill yourself. You thought love was the reward for existing. That being chosen was the ultimate goal.

You confused fun with fulfillment, and you thought a relationship would save you from the responsibility of healing, working, or creating a life of your own. You didn’t know what passion felt like because you never gave yourself a chance to find it. Your purpose was blurry, inconsistent, always on pause.

You tolerated the bare minimum… because you didn’t know there was more. You thought being controlled was normal. You thought emotional withholding was love. You didn’t know that a man not providing from the beginning was a red flag - because deep down, you weren’t providing for yourself either.

You didn’t lack potential… you lacked integrity.

You didn’t lack worth… you just hadn’t met yourself yet.

But even in your confusion, I love you. Because without you, I wouldn’t be here.

Now…

I am becoming a woman of intention.

A woman of integrity.

A woman of honor.

I no longer seek love outside of myself to feel whole I’ve found it within.

In my passion, in my talents, in the way I create and show up for this world.

I’ve tasted love in solitude, in growth, in travel, in the freedom of doing life on my terms.

I’ve learned that men are not the center of life - they’re a bonus.

Real love starts inside.

Because once you find the love within, you find it everywhere.

In your mornings.

In your art.

In your boundaries.

In your stillness.

Even in the things that once upset you.

Where I used to see rejection, I now see redirection.

Where I used to feel abandoned, I now recognize protection.

What once felt like punishment, I now know was preparation.

Because I am full of abundance, it’s hard to dwell in lack

I no longer see the world through the lens of what’s missing - I see it through gratitude, lessons, and divine timing.

I am no longer available for people who simply want to experience me.

My energy is not casual. It’s earned.

If you don’t bring value to a life that I’ve already poured into with sweat, tears, and grace… then access is denied.

I may be warm.

I may be magnetic.

But I am selective. Because now, I know what I carry.

So to the woman I used to be - I forgive you.

You did what you could with what you knew.

And to the woman I’m becoming..

I welcome you.

I honor you.

I choose you.

Forever evolving, Me

to the woman reading this…

If you’re still finding your way, that’s okay.

You don’t have to have it all figured out to start choosing yourself.

Honor your growth.

Protect your peace.

Move with intention.

The woman you’re becoming is worth it.

And she’s already within you.

xox

Well we got RAW and EMOTIONAL THERE AY?

This might be my first post that I promote im not sure yet..

Anyway, if any of this hit home or made you feel seen in some way, I talk more about this kind of stuff over on my YouTube: Listen with KiKi.

It's super chill, just me sharing what I’ve learned, what I’m going through, and trying to pour back into other women the way I wish someone poured into me.

And if you’re into this kind of real, reflective, soft-but-powerful energy, I post more of it on Instagram too — you can find me at @christianer0se.

Come say hi, seriously.

I love connecting with people who are on this journey too Time to create a community of women of integrity, honor and passion.